Are You Pushing Him Away by Chasing Him?
By Rori Raye
Are you chasing after a man and don't even know it?
When you chase a man, you not only tend to unwittingly push him away, but in the end, you don't give him the chance to show you how HE really feels about YOU.
And yet, I know how frustrating it is to sit back and let a man drift away. We want a man to know we're interested in him. We want to make it easy for him to ask us out again. We want to seem enthusiastic and easygoing.
We know we're not supposed to be chasing after him, and yet we're doing it in ways that we're not even aware of.
We think being “friendly” is the same as showing interest in a man. We are taught to think that if we act “casual” a man won't notice that we're actually chasing him.
But, the truth is, we are. And when we do things that seem like we're “chasing” to a man, it's a turn off for him. He feels smothered and feels an aggressive “vibe” from you that does nothing to inspire him to want to get closer.
Here are some things we may think of as “friendly,” that are actually CHASING a man:
“It feels like we're going to lose him by not letting him know we're interested in him.”
Calling him before he calls you. This includes calling him because you heard or read about something interesting, or because you knew there was a great band playing somewhere, or someone told you about some great event that you want to invite him to or - anything at all. It also includes calling to ask why he hasn't called you.
Initiating contact. E-mailing him, texting him, Facebooking him, sending him a cute card, dropping by his house, or in any way attempting to initiate some kind of contact.
Making suggestions or plans. Inviting him to come and join you, or in any way acting like the social director of the relationship.
Asking him how he feels. This includes, especially, asking him how he feels about “you” or the “relationship.”
These are things we do almost without even thinking about it. These are things that feel natural to us, and we excuse them by thinking we're just being “friendly.” And at the heart of this is one fear: Feeling like we're going to lose him by not letting him know we're interested in him.
AND, NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH.
Everything on this list is the same as putting a sign on your chest that says “Needy.” It smacks of desperation. And, it's just plain not attractive to him.
He may LIKE it. He may be flattered. He may have no one else around and so he'll date you. He may even come to like you very much. You may even end up in a relationship with him.
But, you will never know how he really feels about you.
In my newsletter, I show you a different approach to dating that never lets you get hung up on one man and that actually works to attract the right man to you quickly - and the best part is it requires less of the kind of things that scream “chasing” and “neediness”
to him and instead feel attractive and feminine.
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