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Secrets to Attract Men and Feel More Desirable |
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Men don't love us because of the way we
look. In fact, men aren't even ATTRACTED to us
because of the way we "look." And certainly not
the way WE THINK we look. Men aren't women. Men follow their gut feelings and their gut attractions for reasons we usually misunderstand and misinterpret. But one thing's for sure - if we judge ourselves about how we look (in truth, if we judge ourselves about ANYTHING) - the FEELINGS we'll have about ourselves will have EVERYTHING to do with how a man feels about US. Have you ever thought that the best way to capture a man's attention is to LOOK fantastic and sexy, DO the most interesting, sexy, unpredictable, loving and caring things, and GIVE a man everything he wants? And then found yourself at the end of another dead-end relationship, believing that the reason the relationship went down the tubes was because you didn't look good enough, didn't do great enough things, or didn't give enough? And then beat yourself up for all the things you COULD'VE DONE? And wanted a second chance to prove that you could look even sexier, be even more exciting, and give him even more? Only that chance never came, so you tried it on the next man? And then it backfired even worse? I remember feeling that ALL THE TIME. I wanted "do-overs" with every man. It was as if I really believed I could somehow CONTROL whether or not he loved me depending on how HARD I TRIED. I worked at my weight, I worked at the way I dressed, I worked at being good company, and I even worked at being more "relaxed" and fun. But no matter what I did or didn't do, I found myself in relationships that had either no chance of going anywhere, or every chance of breaking my heart. What I didn't know then was that I didn't have to work so hard. ***Here's a letter from Tammy, who's suffering over a man who cheated on her and is turning all her anger and frustration back on herself... Hi Rori, I'm still hurting SO much........ I feel SO unlovable, so betrayed, so disgusting!! I keep asking myself why I'm SO undesirable, so hated, so unworthy (of life)..... I GIVE UP!!!!! He wins. Thank you for listening. Tammy. ***Here's what I wrote to her - just a small bit because I knew I wanted to really help change this kind of awfulness around in an eLetter right now: Tammy - PLEASE - DO NOT turn this on yourself! This is not about you being unlovable - YOU are making a CHOICE to CHOOSE that awful-feeling opinion. Look instead for the long haul. What you want is a great RELATIONSHIP! (Read the ebook - it will help you look past this man.) He is just one man, one place on your way down your road of love. There is another man who is better for you, and he's LOOKING for you. The longer you use this sad moment in your love life to beat yourself up, the longer it will take you to LET that man out there who's LOOKING for you - FIND you. Please - take yourself on a journey to discover "Tammy." You will find your strength. Love, Rori Okay, it's easy for me to say all that. And I know you know this is a step-by-step process... BUT - it doesn't have to be hard, and it doesn't have to take a long time. The first step is always to STOP beating yourself up. If we're always punishing ourselves, we'll be attracted to and attract men who will punish us FOR us. And what happens when we do that? We blame the man. But really, all he's doing is his "job" of punishing and hurting us so WE don't have to do the dirty job. To really jump into this first step, just STOP. That means, no matter what's happened or what's happening, don't do these things: Don't blame anyone. Accept that you likely made some mistakes, didn't listen to your inner voice that was alerting you to his red flags, and didn't stand by your boundaries - and be THRILLED that you've now caught those mistakes so you don't have to make them again! That's right - be EXCITED. I KNOW, from all my personal experience and from watching over all the experiences of my clients, that catching your mistakes, and being HAPPY that you've caught them, instead of punishing yourself and blaming yourself for making them in the first place is the FASTEST way to the relationship you want. Being angry at yourself will slow yourself down. Trying to blame anyone will slow you down. Being angry at him will help you - if you can just FEEL your anger and not bother with reasons, or causes, or blame. The thing here is to "Get on with it - to actually get what you want, not stay STUCK in what you DON'T WANT. And pain and misery and blame and beating yourself or anyone else up will NOT HELP. So - step one is simply to Stop Trying to Place the Blame and actually FEEL what you feel. The fastest way to get used to not blaming yourself and beating yourself up is to reprogram your brain to think differently. If you can start believing that what will make all the difference is not in figuring out what's going wrong and placing blame, but in GETTING WHAT YOU WANT - even if it's not with this man, everything will get better. And the way to that new belief is in talking to yourself in a new way. |
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What You’ll Learn From Rori Raye
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