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Play Hard To Get and Get Him To Pursue You |
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I had this idea - because of my past
experiences, and what my friends said, and what
the movies portrayed, that there was a "shortage"
of good men. I'd bought into this lie about men that other women who'd been as unsuccessful in love as me had created as the "truth." Just because THEY couldn't find a good man, and just because I never had, DIDN'T make it TRUE! I looked at the man in front of me, and I looked at my DREAM, and I could see the difference. And all of a sudden - I DARED ANYONE to tell me my dream wasn't possible. I'd seen all kinds of amazing things happen everywhere, all the time. I'd seen ups and downs - but I HAD seen UPS. Why was I so sure it had to be all downhill from here - instead of all UPHILL? I'd been so sure I didn't have a CHOICE - that I didn't have any say in who I got involved with. You know - that chemistry, and him being cute and having qualities I wanted made him a "must- have" for me. All of a sudden I realized I needed, wanted and deserved more than all that stuff. In fact, I realized that all those cute and wonderful qualities were just icing on the cake of a man. Bottom line, either he can and wants to do a relationship/marriage, or he can't and doesn't want to. And the second I realized that, my attitude shifted. I started to SLIDE OUT of what I'd slid into. I looked at my options instead of just assuming I was stuck where I was. All of a sudden I wasn't about getting him back, or playing hard to get - I WAS hard to get! I started wondering if I actually DID want him back. Or, putting it another way in my mind - I asked myself - probably for the first time in my life - DO I REALLY WANT HIM BACK? And the second I asked that question, my attitude shifted even more. And the second my attitude shifted, HE TURNED AROUND. He made a beeline for me. He became more affectionate, more present, and pursued me more. Only, this time, I saw things differently. Instead of being all grateful and happy, I stepped back. I saw him coming toward me, I felt him coming toward me - but there was something missing. What was missing was his basic qualification. He wanted to be with me alright, but in a temporary and superficial way. In a way that was more high-school than grown-up. He would only go so far. There wasn't anything wrong with that. He wanted what he wanted, and he was totally entitled to want what he wanted. Only - HIS DREAM WAS NOT MY DREAM. Suddenly, I felt it on a deep level. For the first time in my life, instead of changing MY OWN DREAM for this one man (which is what I'd always done in the past - changed my dream to fit the man I'd already slid into a relationship with - sound familiar?), I held onto my dream and challenged this man, the man I was already hung-up on, to FIT HIMSELF into MY dream! I gave up my dream of HIM, and instead, held onto my DREAM OF RELATIONSHIP! Now, I had to speak to him about it. Here's where I wish I'd had my Rori Raye Tools. All I had was trial-and-error. I actually said something like: "You know, Mike. I'm crazy about you. And....I don't want a boyfriend. I'm actually looking to get married and be a mother in the next year or two." I didn't know then about feeling messages. I was terrified to say such a thing to any man I was so attracted to. I was shaking like a leaf, voice trembling, the whole thing - I remember that moment as if it were yesterday. But my new attitude pushed me into it. And, in the thing I accidentally did so right, I'd used words that still work! Those words - please feel free to try them - will work for you! I didn't ask him what he wanted. I just told him what I didn't want. And that was it. I realized right then that I could keep seeing him, and it would be okay. I could even keep sleeping with him, and that was okay. And he could take all the time in the world he needed to decide if my dream fit his. But - and here's what was different about the whole thing for me - I VOWED that, no matter what, I'd keep my eyes and my heart open to other men who were better qualified. Within ONE WEEK, my husband-to-be showed up. This same, exact thing has happened over and over with my clients. The moment you give up trying to fit THIS guy into your dream, and instead step back and see who - among all the men out there who want you (and there are tons, believe me) - does the job of fitting himself into your dream FIRST, men who want to do the job of loving you forever will start banging your door down. Really. Getting this attitude - first - as the first set of Rori Raye Tools you'll use (The Leanback and Waterwheel and Mantra are all about this) is the fastest way to bring any man TOWARD you! Sounds completely the opposite of what you'd think, doesn't it? And yet, it fits into the old game-playing strategies of "playing hard to get." And we all know, even though those games don't work in the long run (because "games" NEVER work) they work waaayyy better than chasing after a man. This attitude is what will change your vibe so much that it'll bring him toward you, no matter what. That man I was crazy about - the almost Jesuit priest - didn't fit my dream. But my husband-to-be did. How did I make that shift in my attitude - where I was ready to let go of any man whose dream was not my dream? And how did I do it without making myself crazy or spending my nights crying? It's just about using my Tools. I made them up, but now you can use them. Do little bits throughout the day - there are so many, and every single one works. They work from the inside out and the outside in. And - it's like learning to play the piano if you really love the piano, or learning Italian if you really want to go to Italy - I mean - we all love being in love and in a great relationship - so the Tools aren't hard work. In fact, they make everything EASIER. So try everything. If I could detach myself enough from that man I was hung up on, and open myself to my husband when he showed up - even though I was terrified - so can you! That experience was a turning point for me, and you will have your own breakthrough. |
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What You’ll Learn From Rori Raye
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