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Believe in Yourself - Self-Confidence in Relationships |
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So..let's focus on HOW to Believe In Yourself. The first thing Believing In Yourself requires is to stop NOT Believing In Yourself. This may sound hard, but actually, it makes the whole job really simple and easy (and fast). If you're at all like me, every day of your life, nearly every minute, thoughts cross your mind that say "Why did you do that?" or "That was a stupid thing to do, why do you always do that?" Sound familiar? I'm going to call this Tool: STOP BELIEVING THE VOICE. Because "Believe" is something we're always hearing - "Believe" in the magic, Tinkerbell, ourselves, it will have more power for you if we turn it around into a STOP Tool. It'll capture your attention, which is what we want here. Instead of focusing on Believing the Good things you WANT for yourself, for right now, let's focus on NOT Believing the BAD things. So, if, just when you want something more than anything, your nasty Voice hits you with that old lie: "You? How could YOU think you deserve that?" try this Three-Step process to Stop Believing your Nasty Voice: First, DON'T FIGHT the Voice. Don't argue, or get defensive, or tell it it's wrong. Second, DON'T BELIEVE it. You may not completely Believe In Yourself just yet, but take it step-by-step and just don't believe the Voice. Try a sense of humor - laugh at it - "Oh, YOU again!" Don't reject it, or say No, or say "I don't believe you" - that would be FIGHTING with it, just feel this stepping back, this absence of going for the Voice or the lie it just told you (and every lie has a bit of truth in it - that's how they GET you - so don't worry about what the Voice is saying). Just treat it like chatter from a nearby table at the coffle shop. Don't lean in and get involved in it, just let it pass by your hearing and then... Third, FOCUS on something you LIKE! It could be a dress in a window, a fork on the table, the color of the flower on the table, your bracelet, his eyes, a picture on the wall, your shoes - anything you LIKE, that makes you feel GOOD. (If what you look at makes you feel small, or competitive, or you WANT it or yearn for it, or it brings up an unhappy memory, or you think you SHOULD like it, you'll know by the way you feel. If it FEELS BAD, don't choose that object. If you like something, it feels GOOD to look at it.) Focus just for a few seconds - just long enough to feel GOOD inside for those few seconds. Then go back to what you're doing. Do this over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. (I can't say enough "overs'). Do it until it feels natural. And it WILL feel natural. Remember, your goal is not to get RID of your Nasty Voice. Everyone has one, it will be with you for life. Your goal is to live WITH it, and not be RUN BY it. Getting run by old patterns and the nasty Voice inside our heads is how we repeat the same old mistakes over and over again in relationships. It's how we find ourselves stuck, even when we've had so many experiences and worked so hard to make love work. |
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What You’ll Learn From Rori Raye
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