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How To Break Up and Break Up Advice in a Yo Yo Relationship |
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Here's a letter from "Sandy," who's in that kind of Yo-Yo Relationship that might sound very familiar to you: Rori, My boyfriend and I of four years have broken up once again. This has happened so many times throughout our relationship, it's hard to really know if it's for real this time. Unfortunately, I didn't start working on myself until after we broke up (four weeks ago), when I started researching on the internet and found your book and now get your e-mails. This is our situation: We've been together four years, I have moved in and out of his home 12 times in that four year period, we have broken up and gotten back together 6 times. He has promised he would marry me (once to get me back) and then not followed through. So, he doesn't want to get married, he doesn't want to have children (which I'm okay with) and basically we can't maintain a relationship for more than a year without breaking up. Every time we break up, our break-ups progressively get longer (last time it was two months). He's usually the one who instigates the break-up and he's always the one who comes back saying he's miserable without me and he doesn't want to live without me. This last time, when he kicked me out of the new home we bought together, he told me we have nothing in common and we don't get along and he won't try to get me back this time because it will never work between us. We usually have a "honeymoon" period after we get back together that lasts a few months and then his treatment of me slowly deteriorates. He never hurts me or is physical with me, but he stops cherishing me. My question is this: Is this just a game to him? Does he just want what he can't have and once he gets it back, he doesn't want it anymore? Is he one of those men who just isn't worth my love? Because I know he will come back. It may take three months this time, but I know he will. Will the things you talk about in your book and your e-mails work with someone like this or have I just been wasting my time? I do love him, but I'm 33 three years old and I'm tired of being thrown away every six months to a year. I'm starting to see that I contribute to this also by making everything so easy on him and trying to run and control the relationship instead of just stepping back, taking care of myself and letting him steer the relationship wheel. I truly believe your advice will work with someone new, but when he does come back, can it work with him? Thank you so much in advance for your answer, "Sandy" The short answer to "Sandy's" question is Yes. It's never too late. All my Rori Raye Tools will help, and they'll all work. Her situation sounds familiar, doesn't it? If you're finding yourself in a relationship place like Sandy's in, here's the big question I'd like to ask you - and for you to ask yourself: Ask yourself: "If these Tools work, and he comes back and wants to stay - will I really want HIM? I know it seems like an obvious answer, but think about it. If everything changed, and he came around, but he still wasn't capable of acting like a grown, good man - would you really want him? Just asking yourself this question will change your vibe. All of a sudden, the energy between you and a man will change. Instead of him always being sure of you, and always being sure there'll be the same problems in the relationship that there were before, and he can count on arguments and all kinds of drama, and for you to overfunction and take care of everything - you'll be calm, peaceful, loving yourself, busy with your life, and taking your time about whether or not HE'S what YOU want. And when the energy shifts like that, a man feels COMPELLED to be with you. The urge to chase you comes back to him. The fire comes back. It feels like starting fresh to him. BRIDGING is how you get from an Imaginary Relationship (like the one Sandy is "in") to a Real Relationship. Getting across The Bridge - over the Pit of Mistakes and the Trap of Fears - and having the relationship you want is soooo much EASIER than we've all been taught. When Sandy sees her letter here, it might look clearer to her than it looks from inside her "relationship." |
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What You’ll Learn From Rori Raye
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