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How To Get a Man's Attention and Keep It. Tips To Getting Men's Attention. |
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If you're struggling in a
relationship that feels insecure and uncertain,
and would give anything to feel more solid and
that your future with the man you care about
will be the way you dream - and just KNOW it could
be - you have ALL THE HOPE in the world. Just because things feel off-balance and off- course right now, you can make small changes in how you feel about yourself inside, how you talk and listen to your man, and the way you see the relationship that can dramatically turn things around. If you've ever felt the urge to go after a man, just because there are so many women around and you don't know exactly how to stand out and get his ATTENTION, or if the man you have is watching TV all the time instead of following you around the house, you know how frustrating it feels. Standing in the kitchen waiting for your man to come over and hug or kiss you, hoping he'll reach for you in bed, looking for the message on your phone feels awful. It feels like your whole life is revolving around your man. Like you can't get your head clear enough to remember what it was like before he became the focus of everything. Instead of feeling great about the moments he IS close to you - and feeling like they're NORMAL and should be happening ALL the time, they feel so special and so few and far between that you can't even enjoy them. You wonder when the other shoe is going to drop. I remember always being on edge, wondering when my "boyfriend" at the time would want to BE WITH ME. I remember going to parties with him and feeling so SAD (I can't think of another word that describes it so completely as just plain sad) because he was leaving me on my own as if he wasn't even with me. And I remember thinking that it was, well, just the way it is with guys, and so I assumed that was the way it would always be. Until I figured it out. There was one boyfriend who started things changing for me, but not until long after that relationship was over. He was attentive. He cared. There was chemistry. BUT - I didn't have strong feelings for him. He didn't seem like a "possibility." I ENJOYED being with him, because I always felt so loved and relaxed and MYSELF, but if he'd have broken it off at any time, I wouldn't have cried. Actually, it was me who broke that one off, and not for any reasonable reason. I remember feeling almost EMBARRASSED to be with him. I didn't know why. I thought it was something about him. But now I know it was me. I was just embarrassed to be with a man who LIKED ME so much! Have you ever experienced that? It was as if I thought, on a very deep level, that if a man is EASY, he can't be worth much. It was as if I believed that the only man really worth my heart had to be one I had to hunt down. So I CHOSE, without even knowing why, men who I had to pine after and weep over, and hunt down, even at a party. And I let go of that man who loved me. Much later, about six months before I met my husband, I remembered that man - the one who loved me - and something clicked in my head. All of a sudden I lost interest in chasing a man. Even though I'd always been so "careful" and "subtle" and "strategic" - and all the time assuming he'd never catch on that I was actually chasing him, I simply lost interest in even TRYING to chase him. And I stopped. Just plain stopped having anything to do with a man I had to chase down. If I went to a party with a man who felt he had to socialize with everyone else in the room without me, the moment it started to FEEL BAD, I TURNED OFF. I didn't turn my feelings off, or shut down, or go quiet or close off. What I "Turned-Off" to was HIM. And I "Turned-On" to MYSELF. Instead of going to anger and frustration, and to feeling bad and insecure, I simply switched my "Turned-on-ness" from my man to MYSELF and then to the WHOLE ROOMFUL OF MEN. I immediately thought of myself as "on my own," just sort of drifted away from my attachment to the man I came with and flirted with the other men in the room. I didn't know what I was doing, but I felt better. I stopped chasing the man I came with, and I wasn't chasing other men in the room either. I was just open to them. It was as though the moment I Turned Off to my man and allowed myself to FEEL how I was actually feeling - sad, and a bit angry - instead of pretending to be up and cheerful and bubbly, other men FOUND ME. All of a sudden I could actually SEE the other men in the room. I could smile at them. They walked up to me. And by the time my "boyfriend" or "date" showed up (and he ALWAYS DID), I had a completely new, much more powerful sense of myself. I'd not only gotten HIS attention, I'd gotten attention from every other man in the room. And I didn't do it on PURPOSE to make him jealous either. That would never have worked. I just TURNED OFF and TURNED AWAY from him, from inside myself, and that changed everything. And then - and this is the best part - I was able to SHARE with "my man" or "my date" exactly how much I had and hadn't enjoyed the party, and how I felt TURNED OFF to him when I had to chase him down in order to be with him. (Once you Turn Off - and do it without anger - men want to know what's going on - they always do.) In order to TURN OFF when a man is behaving badly - instead of "firing up" and getting angry, or going to your insecurities (we ALL feel insecure sometimes) and dragging yourself down (the way we've all been taught to do), you need a quick way to boost your self-esteem. At any given moment, you can have so many different feelings. We ALL feel all kinds of feelings all at the SAME TIME - some feel great, some feel yucky. And you can actually CHOOSE to follow a GOOD FEELING instead of a yucky one. |
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What You’ll Learn From Rori Raye
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