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The Secret to Having a Happy Relationship. Learn to Make Your Man Happy and Bring Happiness To Your Relationship. |
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The magic thing here is - what makes a good man
happy is to make US happy! That sounds simple, too, but when was the last time you let a man make you happy? When was the last time you let a man keep you exclusively, but not see you or call you often enough to make it a real relationship? If you're in a situation like that right now, there a lots of real things you can do to turn this around. In all my programs, you're working on many Tools you can use at every moment to shift the situation - things like dating other men in a rotation, Dating Yourself (this is a big concept you'll get a huge amount of time on in my "Reconnect Your Relationship" CD program, but right now, let's work on shifting your situation so that YOU are the one being made happy in the relationship. Let's talk about STOPPING doing what won't make you happy. Here's a letter from Sandra. I can hear her pain and frustration, and want to answer it right here: Dear Rori, I met a man a few months ago. It started out as a sexual relationship but since then has become less sexual and more ??? We talk online at least 3-4 hours per week, sometimes he will message me sometimes I will message him. He has talked about previous relationships that ended badly for him, he has talked about his non- existent relationship with his father (who left when he was 4 and he has only had contact a few times in the last 30+ yrs) and he has talked about his poor relationship with his mother. I decided I had had enough and started to pull away, but he keeps coming back, and the last time we were actually together in person he made an aside about half the time wanting to be kept. When I asked if it was by someone specific he stayed silent. He does that alot, he will allude to taking the relationship in a different direction, then won't follow up or will be silent when he is asked questions. Am I fighting a losing battle? Thanks, Sandra ***My answer: Dear Sandra, This man sounds a lot like my man in that booth many years ago. Focused on his own happiness, his own needs, his poor relationships with his mother and father, and his desire to be "kept" pretty much says it all: He doesn't want to do ANYTHING to improve his own life, or ANYTHING to make YOU happy. Those of us who find ourselves attracted to this kind of man (almost all of us - isn't it just so unfair?), also find ourselves DOING for the MAN, and for ourselves, what HE should be doing. When you walked away, and he showed up again - that's the big clue. That's the proof that what I'm talking about works - it works with every man. Pretending to be hard to get doesn't work, because PRETENDING ANYTHING NEVER WORKS. But actually BEING hard to get, by staying focused on making yourself happy, draws men to you. Because the absolute truth is, good men like to make their women happy. Period. They do. They like to give presents, they like to pick you up, they like to call you, they like to be faithful to you, and they like the way it feels when you feel good about yourself when you're with them. They like the way it feels when you let them know you feel good. It makes them feel like men (if they ARE actual men, and not little boys - refer back to a past e- letter on Red Flags and Little Boys), and it MAKES THEM HAPPY. So, real men are happy when we're happy. And if that's true with all and any real man, then you will have YOUR PICK of men! That means you can really look for and at the Red Flags. You can really practice my Tools with them all - because they will all work. You can really date a lot of men at the same time and only get exclusively involved with a man you're sure wants to make you happy. You can really shift gears with the man you have (if he's a real man and not a little boy) and watch him start to move toward you. You can feel fantastic about yourself - even in the presence of a man who used to make you feel shaky. For you, Sandra, please date other men, and Date Yourself. Get yourself out there, practice my Tools non-stop, 24/7 on everyone you know and meet, and you'll see - if you focus on making yourself happy, a real man will show up who wants to make you happy, too - so HE can be happy! Good luck, and let me know how it goes, Love, Rori HERE'S A WAY TO HELP A MAN MAKE YOU HAPPY *****One thing, for sure, that WON'T EVER work to help a man make us happy is to focus on making HIM happy! That just doesn't work. I know, it sounds weird. We've all been taught to do the exact opposite. We're taught to focus our attention on a man - feed him, take good care of him, all that. I sure have. I watched my mom put dinner on the table, wash the dishes, do the laundry, get up from her chair to get my dad a cup of water - and she still dotes on him and waits on him. And...she's also irritated, complaining and unhappy much of the time, too. So many of us women get our satisfaction in life from nurturing others - but that just doesn't work with men. Being nurtured is actually the exact opposite of what a man wants! A man wants to hear in plain language, in a soft and loving way, exactly what it is we feel, what we don't want in our lives, and how much he makes us happy. And, when he does stuff that doesn't make us happy, he wants to hear that in a clear, plain way, from our hearts. A way he can understand right off. A way that seems authentic and genuine and sincere. A way that talks only about us, and NEVER, EVER tells him that he's doing things wrong. Sound complicated? It does, because none of us are used to doing it that way. We're all used to stating the problem (pretty much complaining about it, sometimes trying to be reasonable about it), and asking for a solution. We're all used to complaining (I catch myself all the time, even though I've worked hard to stop that way of communicating) when things aren't going well. NOT complaining when we're unhappy is really, really hard, isn't it? But, there's another, much better way to share with a man what's going on, no matter how angry we feel, in a way that doesn't make him wrong, and actually helps him make us happy. And that's getting and staying in touch with OURSELVES. How we feel, in every moment. So, pay good attention to yourself and your feelings. Pay attention NOT to how you feel about HIM, but how you feel about YOURSELF when you're with him. Really spend all your time and energy on making yourself happy. Leanback, and just allow a man to lean forward and make you happy. If you EXPECT that he will do his best to make you happy - without asking him to (this is very important, and we'll talk more about it more), but by just letting him know when he DOES make you happy - you'll be on your way to more love than you ever imagined. Here's a fast success story from Sharon: Dear Rori, Your "Reconnect Your Relationship" CDs just came. Thank you sooo much, I love your advice, it seems to be working, slowly but surely. Sometimes it's shocking to see how well it works, and amazingly, I feel good, at peace. I look forward to seeing my relationship flourish. Thank you again, Sharon If Sharon can feel better and see results in her relationship that fast, so can you. Try it out and let me know how it works for you. Love, Rori P.S. If you'd like to send me a question or a problem you're having that I can answer in an eletter - or a Success Story! -- please e-mail me at Rori@HaveTheRelationshipYouWant.com. Though I may not be able to correspond one-on-one with you, I WILL ABSOLUTELY, PERSONALLY READ YOUR LETTER! I stay up late reading, feel the power of your questions and your desire to have the relationship, love and man you want, and am constantly developing new ways to help you get there even faster. It will help me write a truly helpful answer much more quickly if you keep it to a simple format: 1. One or two paragraphs, please, and 2. Get as specific as you can - the details help me really get a feel for your unique situation. Please feel free to forward these e-letters to a friend - and let her know she can get in touch with me and start receiving her own letters by going to www.HaveTheRelationshipYouWant.com |
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