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What Are The Signs of a Healthy Relationship and How Do I Have a Healthy Relationship? |
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Once we can see clearly if a man really IS ABLE
to do a serious relationship, and that he WANTS to
do it, then the hardest question of all to deal
with is whether or not it's US he wants. Some of that we can control - our part of speaking to him and being with him in a way that attracts him deeply. And some of it we can't. I pushed away that first young man because somewhere inside me I knew he wasn't right for me, and that he wasn't on the same Life Page I was on. I knew, in a place I wasn't aware of, that he was too emotionally closed off to truly make me happy in the long run - in REAL LIFE. But still, It felt awful. That sense of urgency I felt - that I had to MAKE it happen - made me feel terrible inside I know now that being able to stay calm, happy and peaceful - no matter what your man is doing or how the relationship looks right now - can make a HUGE difference in how the relationship goes. My Heart Connection Toolkit CD set can lower your sense of urgency and help you with the fears we ALL feel in a relationship with a man we really care for. You can take advantage of the Toolkit's 30 day free trial and listen to a bit of it - "The Plan" - right here: Link to Relationship Toolkit A relationship is supposed to be effortless. I know that sounds like the complete opposite of everything we've always heard - that you have to "work" at a relationship. But it's just not true. Relationships themselves are supposed to be easy, effortless, and make us feel BETTER than we would without the relationship. Like our lives are easier and happier. Sometimes "logistics" take work - where to go, what to do, how to get the housework done and fit busy schedules together. Sometimes, no matter how "connected" we are in the relationship, there are differences of opinion and style that have to be negotiated. Just like in a business. But the You and Me part is supposed to be easy. And for some reason, this "easiness" is the HARDEST thing we women can accept. We are all so accomplished and thoughtful and willing to work hard for what we want. Only all that energy put into a man doesn't work. In fact, it works totally against us. The overwhelmingly top relationship priority for a man is to be with a woman who makes his life BETTER. He wants HIS love relationship to be EFFORTLESS. That means: Easier, more fun, happier, healthier, more exciting, more emotionally fulfilling, deeper. That also means making him FEEL good about HIMSELF, even when he's down. You can see that there's nothing in there about "Looks" or "Personality" or anything we women tend to focus on. So, here are the two things that create that easy, fun, healthy, exciting, deep connection for him: One - YOU are emotionally, physically, psychologically healthy. That means: You know who you are, like yourself - in fact, Love Yourself - and have a fulfilling life without him. The OPPOSITE of that would be getting the feeling from you that he's CRUCIAL to your survival, that you're desperate for him, that you're emotionally incomplete and need him to complete you. And Two - That you LOVE him. Showing love for a man without coming across as needy is the delicate balancing act we women must learn to do. It means feeling secure within ourselves, with our focus securely on OURSELVES, and yet opening our heart COMPLETELY to him. It means being totally vulnerable while, at the same time, being totally strong. And as hard as this sounds, it's not. That's what all my Tools are about - creating this fantastic balance for yourself, bit-by-bit, baby-step-by-baby-step, Tool-by-Tool. So here's a new Tool: EFFORTLESS 1. START BY LOOKING AROUND THE ROOM, wherever you are. 2. CATCH YOUR THOUGHTS that are going through your mind. If you're in the kitchen, the thought might be "gotta clean up the dishes," if you're in the bedroom, it could be "I wish my man was here," if you're at work, it could be "Oh, look at that stack of papers on my desk!" 3. NOW, CATCH YOUR FEELINGS. You may have felt your body sort of JUMP. You may have felt a sinking feeling, or maybe even a happy feeling if you're looking at a favorite piece of jewelry or a stack of papers on your desk that are finished and ready to go out. 4. NOW, CATCH YOUR URGE TO DO SOMETHING. Can you feel your shoulders go up, your heart jump forward? Perhaps you feel your legs start to carry you across the room to ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING. Or, if it's a sinking feeling, perhaps your legs want to carry you AWAY from where you are - to something that will distract you. 5. NOW, STAND PERFECTLY STILL. DON'T MOVE. 6. NOW, SAY TO YOURSELF - "Yes! I can DO something!" (But DON'T MOVE.) 7. NOW, SAY TO YOURSELF - "But right this moment I don't have to do anything." 8. SAY IT AGAIN - "I DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING." 9. NOW ROCK YOURSELF, BACK AND FORTH. Balance on your feet as though you're a bowling pin. Rock slowly and easily, imagining yourself secured to the floor. Bend your knees a bit, until you feel easily balanced over your feet, as though no bones or muscles in your body need to hold you up. Breathe slowly, in and out, take your time. 10.NOW, SAY, OUT LOUD IF YOU CAN, "THIS IS EFFORTLESS." Release your pelvis. Imagine you weigh practically nothing, and you're just standing there balanced over your feet. And that's it! Try this often throughout the day. Tell yourself things are "Effortless." When you're with your man, tell yourself that the relationship is Effortless. Putting my Tools together is effortless. You can pull them out of a hat, in any order, and they'll work. Right there, on the spot. To learn so many new Tools that will help you, along with a deeper understanding of why and how they work and how your MAN works, and to have me walking you through the Tools, anytime, day or night, that you need me, try out my "Reconnect Your Relationship" CD program. It comes with a free 30 day tryout - so you can learn from the CDs and practice with them for a full month before you even have to decide if you want to keep them (I know you will, without any risk at all. Let me know how the EFFORTLESS Tool works for you. |
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What You’ll Learn From Rori Raye
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