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Have You Lost Love Before? Are You Afraid You Are Losing Love Now? Learn To Tell If He Wants Your or If You Are Losing Him. |
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If you're feeling frustrated in your
relationship on top of all the other emotional,
overwhelming things that come up during the
holidays, you don't have to "tough it out" alone. There's so much going on at the end of every year - old issues we'd thought (or hoped) were long gone show up all over again and throw us off balance, and just the thought of another year coming and going is enough to send us into self- doubt and self-sabotage and "making do" with whatever's happening (or ISN'T happening) in our relationship. If you'd like some extra help and support, and exactly the information and Tools you need to turn your love life around in days, try my "Reconnect Your Relationship" program. (It has a 30 day free trial offer, so you can work with it into next year without taking any risk at all.) "Reconnect" will comfort you, make you feel better and stronger, and teach you, step-by-baby-step, what to do and not do that will turn things around with your man pretty much instantly. Have you ever felt so "thankful" for your man, as though he's such a prize that you're willing to do things for him, and compromise about things with him (even things that don't feel good to YOU) in order to keep him around that you wouldn't do for a man you cared less about? Like keeping the ball rolling in the relationship with phone calls, and cooking, and being understanding about his "stress," and worrying about his worries, and tolerating sex that's not satisfying for you, and tolerating his moods and anger and unkind and un-gentle treatment of you? I know it's easy to SAY - "Well, just stop that!" - but how do you know where to even start? I remember when I was acting as if I was always on some lower rung of the "pole of life" than whatever man I was with, my girlfriends would tell me to "Stop that!" but it was as they were screaming at me in a foreign language I couldn't understand. I truly BELIEVED these men were bigger prizes than I was. I never said it out loud, and I would never, as a self-respecting woman, have even allowed myself to THINK it - but inside, where it was all tangled up with other kinds of bad feelings, I BELIEVED it. And it was running me. It was easy for my friends to say I wasn't "strong." It was easy for them to say "You shouldn't be afraid of losing him. If he's not going to act any better than that, then you're well rid of him." But it just didn't land in my mind and heart in a way I could "get." I didn't SEE my behavior as "groveling." In fact - I saw all my girlfriends doing EXACTLY THE SAME THINGS! I saw glorious, brilliant, gorgeous women friends chasing after "artistic" boyfriends who had no money and lived in converted "garages." I saw smart, talented women friends sleep with men who were still hung up on other women. I saw how we were all afraid of something - but we could only see it in each other - and not in ourselves. When I started to get how to date, and when I finally "got" how great the man who'd later be my husband was - I remember how "weird" it felt to be with a man who LOVED me. It felt almost "wrong." The only way I can describe it is in this old- fashioned way: It just felt like the more he liked ME, the more "wrong" there was with him. As if liking ME made him LESS. And I see that in all my clients, and I still see it in myself, sometimes. It's as though we appreciate men MORE when they're stand-offish and difficult and NOT APPRECIATIVE of US than we do when they're committed, caring and responsible. ***This old pattern of being attracted to men who are PHYSICALLY drawn to us, but have no interest in finding out who we are and LOVING us for the long term is all about self-esteem. I know we all operate that way a little - being attracted to people who are "challenging" - men too, and it's what makes "The Energy Exchange" such a true and powerful Tool. So, for the holidays, I wanted to change this all around for you, and turn that Energy Exchange between you and your man to your advantage. Instead of looking to all the things you're doing and thinking that are working against you, not serving you, and keeping you BELIEVING that your MAN is the prize and you must work to "get" him, and trying to understand those things and to stop doing them (all my programs will give you so many valuable Tools to help you with that) - for today, let's try something different. Let's just go with a new idea to go along with all the thoughts we're having about gift-giving for the Holidays, and that is: YOU are the gift. Doesn't matter where you are, or who you're a gift for, or what it is about you that's a gift (there are so many, many things that are gift-like about you) - but just that you ARE a gift. In general. For the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker, the sun and the moon and the stars, the animals and flowers and insects, the air, the sky, and the wind. Just the fact that you BREATHE. I have my own opinions and fantasies about how we all got here, and what we're each doing in this very spot at this very time, and why everyone in our lives at this very moment is in our lives. I have opinions, too, about why we're here at all, and what we should and shouldn't be doing about it. And I know that you do, too. You have VERY POWERFUL feelings about how the world works and about your unique and particular place in it. So let's take YOUR feelings and beliefs about all this, and put yourself into an imaginary field of gorgeous Love and light - so beautiful it wraps you in love and light like a protected, treasured gift. See if a beautiful color comes into your mind, and let the love and light be that color. Let the bows and decorations and sparkles of your field of light be made with magic dust from the outer reaches of the Universe and the inner depths of your own heart. Now, just say: "I am a gift." Let's make it your "mantra" for today. Repeat it over and over to yourself - out loud and in your mind, and let your body and your heartbeat take over repeating it - so it just sort of "lives" inside your body and rides on your breath and heartbeat. Let it just "hang out" inside you, effortlessly. Whenever you look at your man, or think of him, if you find yourself with that sinking feeling, that question coming up into your brain that says "What do I have to do NOW to get him and keep him?" - go back to your "I am a gift" mantra. Imagine your protected, magical field of love surrounding you, holding you, bathing you in beautiful light, in a beautiful color, and go back to your "I am a gift" thought. I know you certainly are a gift to me, and I KNOW that you are a gift to your MAN. So, when you catch yourself wanting to TELL him how great you are and how he needs to treat you better, or you catch yourself trying to SHOW him how great you are and why he should want to commit fully to you, or your girlfriends or your own thoughts tell you you're not treating yourself with respect - for today - just say to yourself "I am a gift." Even if you don't believe it this minute - if you say it and think it and feel it enough times today, by tonight you'll feel like the gift you truly are. Try it, and let me know how it works. In the meantime - I'll hold this for you: I have an iron-will, "sure as the sun is coming up tomorrow" belief that this is TRUE - that YOU ARE A GIFT to your man, and that the moment you even get that THOUGHT going - he'll SEE IT! Yes. Something will happen. Your own "vibe" will change, he'll feel it, and all of a sudden the roles will reverse. YOU will be the gift and the prize, and HE will be the one looking at YOU with WONDER. To get even more, and VERY SPECIFIC How-To help to bring your man close and feel better about yourself at the same time - try out my new "Reconnect Your Relationship" CD program. Let your man see that YOU'RE the PRIZE. It will trigger his emotional connection to you and his love for you. Let me know how it goes. |
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What You’ll Learn From Rori Raye
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