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Do You Know What Men Really Want in Women? Learn the Secrets of What Men Like About Women and What They Want in Relationships. |
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If you've ever found yourself
being a "friend" to a man you really LOVE and want
to be in a REAL relationship with, you are
probably doing what we've all been taught to do -
beating yourself up and trying to figure out
what's going wrong. Have you ever been with a man, everything's going great, you're feeling "loved" by him, and your heart is just jumping out of your chest with love for him, only to have him start using your shoulder not to caress and kiss, but to cry on? Where he calls so often, and wants to see you so much you just can't understand why he refers to you as a "friend"? And he can't seem to do without you, but can't commit to you, either? And you're starting to notice that the way he looks at other women who pass by, or the way he talks about his "ex" is completely different than the way he looks at you and talks about you? If this has ever happened to you, or is happening now, and you feel like a wonderful "stepping stone" for a man you've been with - where after your relationship with him is over, he marries someone else right away - you're not alone. This has happened to every one of us at one time or another, because after every relationship that didn't work out, both you and the man went on to other "relationships." But just because it's happened to most of us doesn't make it feel any better. It feels lousy. It makes you feel completely unattractive, unsexy, undesirable, and lost. It makes you feel like you don't know HOW to do a relationship. It always made me feel awkward, gawky, stupid, clueless about men, and hopeless. Until I finally, at about six months before I met the wonderful man who is now my wonderful husband, "got" that it wasn't my fault! I wasn't being a "stepping stone" for men because there was something "wrong with me," I was being stepped on and stepped over because that's ALL I COULD HANDLE! I THOUGHT I was being very "brave." I thought I was going to turn a man who was still hung up on his ex, seriously commitment- challenged, financially unstable, emotionally unhappy with his life, or even possibly gay for heaven's sake, into MY MAN. I was going for the ultimate accomplishment - getting an "impossible to get" man. I was stuck in something I finally noticed was a part of my whole approach to a lot of my life - I was an OBSTACLE JUMPER. I was almost ADDICTED to the thrill of finding a huge challenge and either jumping over it, or plowing through it. In terms of men, the thrill was in thinking I could make an "unavailable man" want me. I was so afraid, and on such a deep level, to actually HAVE a wonderful man close and intimate, I used all my energy to cover up that fear by PURSUING men who were either not interested in a serious relationship with ANY woman, or perhaps just simply not INTO me in a serious way. Looking back, it was sort of arrogant. Did I think I was so special that a cold, unresponsive, unavailable man would "change" completely because of me? Or that if a man wasn't initially attracted to me, I SHOULD be able to CHANGE MYSELF enough that he WOULD be attracted to me? Was it my high-school fantasy I was chasing? For a long time, that's what I thought, and so I beat myself up about it regularly. Now I know different. Now I know that I just couldn't handle closeness and intimacy. I THOUGHT I could. I FELT so romantic. It was like the ancient myth of Sisyphus. The story goes that Sisyphus was forced to spend his life in exile, with the unending job of pushing a huge boulder up the side of a hill, only to watch it roll back down to the bottom at the end of every day. In the morning, he would have to start all over. And there'd never, ever be ANYTHING to show for his efforts. That was me. Trying to push the rock of a relationship uphill, only to watch it roll back down again. And then blaming myself for letting it roll back. ***Blaming yourself and beating yourself up is the first place we've all been taught to go to, and the Tools in my Heart Connection Toolkit CDs can help you stop that old pattern. When I discovered, through my own trial-and-error, how to get out of the relationship pit and the self-blame I was in, everything changed. I was able to quickly get myself into the love life I really wanted, and I know these Tools will help you, too. Instead of making everything your fault - IT ISN'T! - you can get real self-esteem and confidence that will ATTRACT your man closer in an amazing and incredibly fast way. |
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What You’ll Learn From Rori Raye
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