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Common Relationship Mistakes |
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Do you ever feel like NO relationship will EVER work? At least not the way you'd like it to - smooth and easy, loving, exciting, fun, sexy? Maybe it would start out great, he might start out like Prince Charming, but then it all fades away and you're left with a guy who's only half-there? He forgets to call, forgets to show up on time, forgets your birthday? He forgets to make the reservation, forgets the directions, and asks you to pay for dinner? He only seems to want sex, and even then, he seems to have better things to do? AFFECTION and ATTENTION are things of the past? It feels awful when even one of these things happens. But when they all seem to happen at once, it's TERRIFYING. I remember feeling as though the bottom had dropped out of everything. As though I must have been in a dream, and then suddenly found myself awake in the middle of a nightmare. The thing that I had to learn to stop beating myself up about was that the nightmare kept happening over and over again. It was so PREDICTABLE. I'd get with a man and go from dream to nightmare in nothing flat. Sometimes it took a week, sometimes two, sometimes a year. I felt absolutely helpless over my own romantic destiny. When I finally figured out that the same nightmare results were coming not from my luck or my looks, but from the same MISTAKES I was making over and over - things started to change. I stepped back just enough to SEE things a bit more clearly. And I started to identify EXACTLY what my mistakes were. And then - and it seemed like an overnight transformation - I was finally able to take some control over what was happening to me. I almost instantly got totally different results. Instead of finding myself in the middle of a nightmare where I felt hurt most of the time, I found myself having fun. I discovered I had CHOICES where I used to think the choice was all the man's. I discovered I had some POWER over myself and my life that I didn't know I had. I felt better. Better men showed up. I didn't know about BRIDGING then [If you haven't read yet about how I've renamed "dating" and am calling it "Bridging," you'll learn about it in an eLetter soon], but I tried out "dating" many men at the same time - and within a week, my husband showed up! For 5 months - instead of ME being held on HIS string - he became just another man in my Dating Rotation. When he wanted to move in with me, I made the same speech I suggest for you (with your own style and your own words - just make sure you use "Feeling Messages" and "Don't Want Messages" from my eBook and the Toolkit). I said "It would feel great to be with you. I feel awkward and excited even talking about this. And I don't want... a boyfriend or a live-in relationship at this point in my life. I'm looking to be married and be a mother. So, until you're sure you want marriage and fatherhood, it would feel better to just date and keep my options "open." The story is much longer (and a lot of it is in my eBook), but the ending is pretty terrific. One of the biggest mistakes I made my whole love life, until just before I met my husband, was chasing men. But - I didn't know I was chasing them! I thought I was being cool, and sweet, and loving - and NORMAL. Yet, I was actually making every one of my 10 Mistakes [you can find these in an eLetter] - and plenty more. One of the ways I was chasing men was in Overfunctioning, Overgiving, Overnurturing, and generally making the man the center of my life. Even though I was very, very busy in my professional life (I was an actress always doing plays, going on auditions and filming when I got a job), whatever man I was with STILL FELT like the absolute center of my world. HE and my romantic life were just head and shoulders the most important thing. And that's just about the worst mistake any one of us can make. |
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What You’ll Learn From Rori Raye
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