The Best Way To Make Him Commit
By Rori Raye
It can be so confusing when a man says he cares for you - even loves you - but is not making any moves to get closer or commit to you.
If you're finding yourself wondering what's going on and what he'll do next instead of just enjoying his attention and affection, you're in good company.
It happens to so many of us women: We attach ourselves to a man and invest our time and hearts in him, yet he feels slightly beyond our reach. And because we are so attached, we start making excuses for him when he's not showering us with the attention we crave.
On the one hand, we're willing to give him his "space" and be understanding about all the other pressures in his life. At the same time, we become angry because we aren't getting what we want and need. It can get so confusing that no matter what we do, we end up feeling awful.
If We Let People Mistreat Us, They Will
I remember how I used to be so forgiving of the men I was dating, even though it would hurt me. There was one man who took time away from me in order to see an old girlfriend who was in town visiting. Yet I kept on seeing him, even though I knew he not only wasn't committing to me, he was humiliating me!
I'm telling you this embarrassing story so that you won't accept any kind of behavior that doesn't feel good to you.
Having learned some hard lessons and cried the tears that go with them, I've gotten very good at expressing my displeasure in a way nearly anyone can hear, and in a way my husband just adores.
Because, believe it or not, the Tools I teach you don't get tossed out the minute you're married. You'll want to use them for life so your man will keep falling in love with you forever.
You Don't Want Him - You Want A Real Relationship
This may sound simple enough, but most of us do just the opposite. Being aware that your priority is a real relationship is something we often forget. We express, sometimes over and over again - with words, our body language and things we do - that he is what we want.
"No man should ever feel like he's your man of choice, he's your "One", or that you're only seeing him. Not until he's committed."
When we get so focused on the need for any one man, it's easy to get blinded. That's when we start making excuses for him that may in fact be relationship deal breakers for us. If what you want is an exclusive relationship, yet you keep seeing him if he wants something else for fear of losing him, you're really only losing yourself and all that is important to you.
How To Talk To Him About Commitment... Without Pressuring Him
If, instead, you speak your truth, then you are honoring yourself without putting pressure on him. You could say something like this:
"I don't want a boyfriend. I'm looking for someone to walk off into the sunset with and get married and have a family. And so I don't want to get exclusive with anyone until that guy shows up."
And that’s it. You don’t ask him for anything. You also continue dating other men until you have the
commitment that makes you happy. I know this is hard, but trust me when I say you are doing the best thing you
possibly can to ensure your happiness. No man should ever feel like he’s your man of choice, he’s
your “One”, or that you’re only seeing him. Not until he’s committed.
This is actually the way dating used to work in the old days. Take my aunt, who has been happily married for several
decades. She once told me how, when she got engaged to my uncle, she had to write three “Dear John” letters
to men she was seeing! And, by the way, she said this to me as my uncle was sitting right beside her with a glint in his
eye. My aunt was a smart lady: She was taking care of herself first by making sure she was committing to the right man -
someone who completely adored her and wanted to give her his heart forever.
You deserve no less. That’s why I write my newsletter - so you can have the secure, loving, committed
relationship you’ve always wanted.
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