Keep Your Options Open and Stop Him From Running Hot and Cold
By Rori Raye
You meet a great guy who showers you with attention and affection. He tells you how amazing you are, and you feel like all your relationship dreams are finally going to come true.
Then, suddenly, he doesn't call as often as he used to. Or he hesitates making plans with you. Or when he's with you, you sense he's not really there, and it hurts. We've all been there, and it feels absolutely awful.
The butterflies in your stomach are now replaced by a gut-wrenching tension. You're on edge, and you can only relax when he's with you - but you never know exactly when that's going to be. Soon, you start analyzing his every move and talking about it relentlessly with your girlfriends.
I know, because before I learned how to deal with this, I was the Queen of Analyzing.
Working Hard, Getting Nowhere
I'd monitor his face for any sign that he might be going cold on me, and then I would go into what I call "over functioning." I'd ask him where he was going, what he was thinking, and ask when we were going to see each other. I made sure I was available all the time and even planned dates for us.
I'd try to do it in, what I thought, was a non-pressuring way. I'd ask him things out of "curiosity" or "caring". Or just because my schedule was so busy that "I needed to know how to plan my week."
Four Words To Change Your Love Life
One of the things I discovered, and made myself do, in order to get out of this self-destructive pattern was four words: KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN.
"Exclusivity without a commitment is a trap. It's great for him but not good at all for you."
Instead of waiting around for a man to make plans or sit around analyzing why he's constantly coming forward and then moving away, I started going on casual dates with several different men.
Note that I said "made myself, because I know how challenging this is! But you have to trust me (and yourself) to know that even when it feels scary to step back and take care of yourself, it's the best - and most attractive thing - you can do.
The most important reason for dating more than one man until you are exclusive is that it gives YOU the opportunity to find the best partner. The fact that you will become more attractive to the men you're dating is a bonus.
The last thing you want to do is put your life on hold and stand around waiting for one man. You're giving him all the power. It's like saying, "I'm so crazy about you, I'll take whatever I can get." And that is never attractive to a man.
His Secret Wish
Every man secretly wants to be with a woman who puts herself first. But he WILL take whatever he can get if you give it away freely. That's why I say that exclusivity without a commitment is a trap. It's great for him, but not good at all for you.
Keeping your options open makes it possible to have what you want, and it makes it easier for the man you have to give you what you want, because it completely changes your outlook and your "vibe." I call it circular dating, and I show you how to do it in my eBook.
Once he sees that you're honoring your heart, it will compel him to honor you. He'll stop blowing hot or cold and give you the attention you deserve.
Or, he'll leave you alone; and you'll find out he wasn't worth your time and heart anyway. You just saved yourself a lot of heartbreak. And since you were keeping your options open, you have a number of other suitors who are happily standing by. Lucky you!
I only wish I had started circular dating sooner. Because, as soon as I did, the right kind of men started showing up in my life - including my husband. It worked so well for me that I decided to create my eBook so I could share what I learned with women like you. Thousands of women have dramatically improved their relationships by using these powerful Tools. No matter how brokenhearted or confused you might feel right now, I know that what you learn in my eBook will help you create the committed relationship you deserve. I hope you'll give it a try and give yourself the chance at finding your happy ever after.
To find out how to stop over functioning and start circular dating so you can keep your options open in a way that keeps men coming your way, download my eBook here: Have The Relationship You Want free trial
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