Can Expressing Your Emotions Improve A Relationship?
By Rori Raye
Nobody likes a drama queen - that's certainly true. But what may surprise you is that a man adores a woman who is in touch with her emotions and knows how to share them with him.
So, if you're worried that you might push a man away by revealing your anger and feelings, this may be exactly why he's not getting closer to you.
Drama is what you do when you're afraid of your true emotions. Drama is what you do when you feel afraid, deep down, of your rage, your terror, your pain - so you work really hard to shut down your feelings and keep them hidden.
But no human being can handle this. So what happens? Your emotions start bubbling away beneath the surface like a pressure cooker. Then one day, you burst. You create drama.
Hiding Your Emotions Pushes Him Away
Just the effort of keeping your emotions at bay for fear of losing him causes you to become angry. Deep down, you're really angry at yourself - you're angry that you've been ignoring your truth.
When you do explode, it's only natural that your man will take the blame for your feelings, causing even more of a disconnect in your relationship.
So how do you undo all the damage of spending years stuffing down your emotions and instead learn to communicate with your man in a way that will engage his heart?
Learn To Love Your Emotions
“Once you get comfortable expressing your emotions about something outside your relationship, it'll be easier to express yourself when it's something directly involving him.”
This means that whatever comes up - wherever you are, whatever you're feeling - you stop doing what you're doing and take a second to acknowledge the feeling. Feel compassion for yourself and what you're experiencing inside.
At first this may not come naturally for you, especially when you're so used to hiding what you're feeling for fear you'll scare a man away or have him think you're flaky. That's okay. In this case, practice really does make perfect.
Undoing the Damage - One Day at a Time
You might practice first by telling your man about something you read or saw on television. Instead of relaying what you thought of the story, or analyzing what happened in the story and why, you stay with your feelings about it. Don't try to hide your tears if they come. Look at him directly without turning away or closing up.
For instance, say you saw something on the news about a robbery in your neighborhood. Instead of telling him that you think it's time for a new set of locks on the door, you could tell him how scared it made you feel to hear this news. See what he does. Chances are, he'll want to comfort you and show he can take care of you. Chances are he'll go out and get some new locks all on his own.
Once you get comfortable expressing your emotions about something outside your relationship, it'll be easier to express yourself when it's something directly involving him.
It took me a long time to understand how to do this, but once I did, it became almost automatic. The best part was that I managed to change the entire dynamic of my marriage - for the better - once I started making these subtle shifts in myself. And we've been happily married for 20 years since.
I was so amazed by what happened, that I put everything I learned into my eBook so you can experience the same magical results in your relationships.
My eBook is filled with Tools that will help you become more authentic and vulnerable - the kind of women men love to devote their hearts to. You'll learn how to show a man "The real you" in a way that will bring him closer every day.
Don't spend another minute hiding what you really feel. Find out exactly how to express your feelings and stop them from reaching the boiling point by reading my eBook Have The Relationship You Want. You can try it free for 7 days and start experiencing a more connected relationship right away.
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