By Rori Raye
If you’re like I used to be, meeting a man you really like turns your world upside down.
He’s all you can think about, and the more you get to know him, the more you want him to know that you’re the one for him.
We’ll bend over backwards for this new man and do whatever we can to show him how “great” we are.
But this is where we women can get ourselves into a lot of trouble and heartache.
Doesn’t it always seem to happen that when you like a guy THIS much, he seems to suddenly go cold? He gets distant, he stops contacting you as much, or he ghosts you completely?
It makes you think to yourself, ‘What did I do wrong?’, ‘How can I get him back?’, ‘If only he’d contact me again I’d MAKE him see how amazing I am!”
Or you might even feel angry and think about how you can make him regret ghosting you…
Even though it may seem – with every fiber of our being – that we need to prove our worth to a man in order for him to step up and commit to us, this only ends up backfiring.
Men don’t fall in love with us because of what we DO for them. In fact, the more you DO, the less sure he will be of you.
They fall in love with how we BE.
And this is about being in your natural feminine energy.
This is the only real way to make a guy regret ghosting you - is by BEING the alluring, mesmerizing feminine woman he’d never dream of losing.
A man is attracted to your feminine energy.
Even though it may seem that it’s female to give and to nurture others, the truth is that feminine energy is RECEPTIVE.
It is actually the masculine that is action-oriented and gives rather than receives. You feel good when he gives you flowers, plans things for you, and takes actionable steps to make a commitment to you.
But when you DO things for a man because you are trying to GET something, you are also operating out of masculine energy. This includes baking him cakes so he sees what a great cook you are, saying yes to things you don’t want, always driving to his place, and putting your life on hold just to be available to him.
All of these things don’t make a man fall in love with you. He may stay in a relationship with you for years because it’s convenient for him, but he won’t have that gut feeling of “I adore this woman and can’t imagine my life without her.”
He will also get lazy, since there is no need for him to activate his masculine energy to give to you.
He will stop being romantic. He’ll have more important things to do than be with you. And he won’t take the relationship forward. Meanwhile, you will become bitter, angry, and despairing that you will ever have the relationship you want.
Men genuinely don’t want to be lazy when it comes to love. They want a woman who makes them want to step up and make her happy.
If a man senses that you’ve made your whole world about him, he will actually question your value. He will wonder why you’re trying so hard, and he won’t be motivated to make you his.
That’s why, no matter how much your heart longs for a certain man, you must take your focus off him and bring it back to YOU.
That means keeping your options open to other men so that you are being selective about the kind of man you want to give your heart to. And when a man knows that you haven’t decided he’s IT before you’re exclusively committed, he’ll realize he has to step up in order to avoid another man from getting to you first.
This is what I call “elevating your Degree of Difficulty.” You raise your value not by catering to a man, but by putting yourself, your life, and what you want – first!
While you can’t convince a man to fall in love, you can lead him there by connecting with his heart.
And the way to his heart is through YOUR heart.
You see, a man longs to meet a woman that creates the safety to feel and share his feelings with. This is because men don’t generally open up to other men about feelings, the way we do with other women. Instead, he reserves those moments for the one woman he is closest to.
You show a man his feelings are safe with you by fully feeling and embracing your own feelings – including the difficult feelings.
Contrary to the idea that men are afraid of feelings, a man is actually FASCINATED and mesmerized by the way we feel our feelings.
But we have to express them in a way that is devoid of drama. And when it comes to pleasurable feelings, we need to be able to fully and sensually experience them.
This combination is so powerful, that men will do anything to be with a woman who lives from her heart this way.
So your practice, right now, while you’ve been ghosted, is to forget about him.
I know, it’s hard when your heart is hurting. But that’s a great place to start.
FEEL your heart hurting… cry. Be tender with yourself.
And then ask yourself, what would make you feel GOOD again?
What would you enjoy doing that also takes CARE of YOU?
It could be dancing… singing… cooking to your favorite music… taking a candlelit bath… going for a peaceful, slow walk in the park and listening to the birds chirping.
Whatever works for you - these things all help bring you back into YOUR FEELINGS, and your body.
All of this is you being authentic and honest with how you feel, and feeling is what brings you back into your natural feminine energy.
Keep feeling into what makes you feel GOOD and do those things. And stop when they don’t feel good anymore.
Before you know it, you will have forgotten about him - at least for a moment or longer. You’ll be so immersed in what you LOVE doing and what makes you FEEL GOOD, that energy you were chasing him with will disappear.
And you know what so often happens during those moments?
He’ll probably reach out.
I’ve experienced it myself, and heard countless stories from other women where this happens.
When you’re truly connected to your heart, he’ll feel it – no matter the distance between you.
The important thing is then, to STAY connected to your FEELINGS and your heart if/when he does reach out.
And, if he doesn’t ever reach out again, you still stay connected to your heart and your feelings because the next guy that comes who is ready will be utterly mesmerized by you!
Return your focus to YOU, and he’ll FEEL that there’s just something about you he can’t get enough of.
I’ve got so many more tips, ‘secrets’ and practices on how to focus on YOU instead of him in my FREE Feminine Energy Newsletter.
I’ll show you have to STOP putting all your energy on HIM, and instead embody your natural feminine energy that makes you utterly irresistible to men.
You’ll never get ghosted again (at least not by men who are ready for a woman like you!).
And you’re also going to learn:
You’re probably working too hard to feel loved.
I know because before I attracted my husband, I was a "crumb-taking queen": being overly accommodating to men without getting much in return and ghosted too often to count. It wasn’t until I learned about being in my feminine energy that everything changed for me – and it can change everything for you, practically overnight!