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By Rori Raye
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- What to do if he’s distant and seems to have fallen out of love.
- Word-for-word love scripts to help you bring him closer than ever before.
- The secret psychology that makes him want to commit for life.
- The magic power you didn’t know you had to make him want you.
As I’ve been going through my emails lately, I’ve noticed that a few questions seem to pop up again and again.
So today, I wanted to take a moment to answer these questions - and then reveal the eye-opening truth about how all of these questions point to a fear of intimacy in yourself…
…and how you can use this powerful revelation to start changing YOUR love life immediately.
The first question I’m seeing so much usually goes something like this:
Rori, I’m starting to feel totally hopeless about finding a man who will love me forever. I’m terrified that I’ll end up alone. Is there anything I can do right now to change things?
These questions all involve the fears and worries most women feel at some time along the journey to finding fulfilling, enduring love.
These questions are all alarm signals.
They alert us to icky, destructive feelings that can quickly add up to overwhelm, frustrate, even frighten us. Even worse, the longer we can’t find answers to these questions, the worse we feel… which then affects how we act in the future (which is usually in ways that make it even HARDER to find love).
And that’s when it happens.
The 3 D’s… Disappointment, Disgust & Dispassion
Our search for love becomes a negative, downward spiral of fear and worry that becomes incredibly difficult to escape and excruciatingly painful to endure.
They make us feel lost and hopeless, afflicting us with what I call the three "D"s… feelings that are the biggest roadblock to us from becoming the alluring, magnetic, irresistible woman we were born to be.
The first “D” is Disappointment.
This is when no matter how much we try to please a man or give ourselves over to being open and receptive to love, our failures make us feel like we’ll never find "Mr. Right"… the one man who can fill us up and make us feel adored for a lifetime.
We feel like we can’t find a good man no matter how hard we try, or that the man we’re with is not what we wanted. For reasons big and small, he doesn’t live up to our hopes and dreams. He’s not attentive. His car is always grubby, or he can’t seem to put two words together. He’s a financial mess. Whatever!
It all adds up to our feeling frustrated, sad, and disappointed in love.
The second “D” that haunts us is Dispassion.
This is the feeling that we’re constantly meeting men - or that we already have a man in our lives - who is just “alright.” He’s “okay.” He’s pleasant and adequate. But we know the painful truth every time we look in his eyes…
We know that no amount of okay, pleasant, or adequate can fill us up and make us feel the passion and desire we crave, let alone make us feel inspired, deeply loved and happy.
The third “D” that causes us so much pain and despair is Disgust.
If we’re still trying to find “Mr. Right,” we feel like it’s about as likely as finding that bright, shiny needle in that dirty old haystack. We feel disgusted with our failures, or with the shortage of good men. When our search goes on too long, we become disgusted with the entire journey.
If there’s a man in our lives, suddenly his smallest quirks and shortcomings add up to diminish (or fatally damage) our feelings for him. We become convinced we can’t live another day with the way he snores or tells jokes… but in reality we’re suffering from something much deeper.
We feel the love we’ve always dreamed about is becoming impossible, and we resent it.
No matter which “D” may be affecting you most, it’s important to remember that these feelings creep up, add up, and make you start feeling hopeless and lost before you even realize it’s happening.
If you suspect that these feelings may be getting the better of you right now, here’s some immediate, comprehensive help that’s guaranteed to make the 3 D’s go away forever.
The Common Factor? Fear of Intimacy
The common factor between the 3 D’s? You likely make these feelings ‘wrong’ (whether you’re conscious of it or not), and when you make your icky, uncomfortable feelings ‘wrong’ you’re actually not being authentic… and when you’re not being authentic, you cannot create real intimacy!
No one likes to feel any of these icky feelings.. But in all honesty, it’s part of being human! And, it’s a big part of our feminine power as women - being able to be FULLY with our feelings and emotions. Not hiding them, not making them into unnecessary drama either.
The trouble happens when, say you start feeling disgust about a guy and you keep bottling it up, but knowing you feel this way deep down, but you keep trying to make it work with him because he’s ‘good enough’… instead of letting that disgust be expressed naturally, it’s going to fester inside you and make you feel SO MUCH WORSE.
It’s like that disgust grows inside you, almost taking you over! Even coloring other areas of your life that you once felt joyful about.
This points to a fear of being truly intimate with YOURSELF.
You’re not being honest with yourself about how you FEEL.
And intimacy thrives on true, honest emotional connection. It DIES when emotions and feelings are bottled-up or faked.
If this sounds like you, I seriously recommend practicing communicating in Feeling Words, with any guy you’re dating!
In the meantime, take comfort in this:
I Used To Suffer From All 3 D’s In Spades, Often All At Once… Until I Did THIS
Basically, I just plain didn’t feel good about myself, so I was automatically attracting (and feeling attracted to) the kind of man who didn’t feel good about himself, either. So naturally he was incapable of loving me the way that I wanted.
But then I discovered there was a simple, powerful step I could take to escape this “downward spiral” and get back to finding that shining needle in the haystack… also known as the boundless love I so wanted and deserved.
I found that the first step was asking myself a few simple questions and granting myself the right to be completely honest about the answers.
I asked myself:
- Why am I constantly listening to that “Nasty Voice” inside my head that tells me things have never worked out for me in love and never will?
- Why am I always falling into patterns of behavior with men that never fail to drive them away and leave me feeling bad?
- Why do I believe with all of my heart that I’ll never enjoy a committed, secure, enduring relationship?
- I feel like I’ll NEVER find happiness in love, so why do I even keep trying?
At my lowest times, I could spend all day curled up in bed asking myself these questions.
By those emails I’ve been receiving, I can tell that many of you are asking yourself these questions, too. And that’s why I’m so glad that you’re reading this right now.
It’s an opportunity to help you understand that you CAN start feeling so much better - and that you can start feeling better RIGHT AWAY.
I want you to know that no matter how much fear and worry you’re enduring right now, you can start feeling inspired, hopeful, and full of boundless optimism MUCH SOONER than you ever imagined possible…
How To Leave Behind Your Fears And Worries About Love Forever
The first thing I want you to do is accept that every challenge on the journey to love stirs up feelings inside us that we wish we could stuff down, avoid, or ignore.
- If we still haven’t found “the one,” we feel alone and closed-off. We find ourselves longing after every half-decent-seeming guy who passes through our lives.
- If we’re dating or in a relationship, we start “over-functioning.” We chase. We try to do everything we can to please a man just to make him stay or feel like things are okay.
- If we continue to fail, we hope that things will take care of themselves or work out the way they’re “supposed to.” When they don’t, we give up or waste our lives fantasizing.
In this final, most awful case, our feelings of doubt and fear make us surrender, truly dooming us to darkness and loneliness in our lives. Sometimes we become angry and lash out at the unfairness of it all. Other times we’re just quietly, desperately sad.
All of which is why I want you to know right now:
Simply Deciding To “Take Action” Is The Key To CHANGING EVERYTHING
I want you to feel deep down, beyond all shadow of a doubt, that your fear, uncertainty, and worry about love mean that NOW is the best time to take action to change things.
But not just “any” action - after all, who can afford to waste precious time and money running around looking for help and answers but not getting anywhere at all?
It’s time to take action that’s GUARANTEED to start changing your life.
That in mind…
If you feel like it’s time to rebuild up your confidence and self-esteem and confidence to the point that you’ll finally stop worrying about chasing love…
If you want to learn how to use your words and actions to connect with any man you want (in ways that even he may not understand) so that he starts doing all he can to have YOU…
If you want to turn ANY relationship around no matter how bad it may seem right now…
If you want to build TRUE INTIMACY in your relationship…
… then it’s time to take the first simple step toward leaving your fears and worry in love behind forever. And like I said - it’s simply making the decision to take action.
Once you decide to take action, fear and worry will begin to evaporate from your life. It’s like dew from the morning grass… it disappears with the first new rays of sunlight.
That’s why, if you’re living in fear that you’ll never find the man of your dreams or enjoy an enduring, passionate relationship, I want to provide that ray of light.
I want to let you know that, after years of learning, doing, and creating fail-proof tools that perfected my own relationship, I’ve created a way for you to have them all, too - without any fear or worry that they won’t work for you, or that you’re making a financial mistake by trying them.
RIGHT NOW, Take This One Action…
Take a moment to be alone, with yourself.
Just you. No distractions.
And notice HOW YOU FEEL.
How do you feel about the guy you’re dating?
How do you feel about how you show up with him?
How do you feel in your life, in general? Are you happy with your life? Are you disappointed in yourself? Are you lonely, angry, numb, checked-out?
Just notice how you feel! That’s it.
And don’t make your feelings wrong.
This SIMPLE practice (like a meditation on your feelings) is a GREAT foundation to build intimacy with yourself… and thus more intimacy with your man.
It is so simple, most women skip it over in the beginning - but I’ll tell you now, any woman who really desires that dream relationship with a great guy - she inevitably comes back to this. It’s the foundation.
Fear of intimacy is so common… many of us weren’t raised in households that made our emotions OK, or accepted our feelings. And our culture doesn’t help much either.
But once you learn to hold your own emotions with Love and Compassion, your other relationships will THRIVE! And the ones that are dying… well, they will fall away.
I’ve gone through all the ups and downs of relationship disappointments, broken-hearts and betrayals that you can imagine.
I’m so grateful to have figured out what WORKS - not just for me, but for thousands of other women JUST LIKE YOU.
In my FREE Feminine Energy Newsletter, I share more techniques on how to be with your own emotions, alleviating that fear of intimacy, creating an amazing relationship with a great man, and so much more!
When you sign up for my FREE newsletter, you’ll also learn…
- A new way of being with a man so he’ll want to be around you all the time, and will inspire him to want to caress you, pull you close and tell you he loves you
- The subtle energy shift that can make a tremendous difference in how a man starts to pursue you for a change – he’ll want all your time and attention
- A three-step formula for communicating your feelings to a man in a way that will actually bring him closer to you so he’ll share his own feelings – you’ll never have to walk on eggshells or hide the real you again, and he’ll fall more and more in love with you for it
- The specific words and body language that will make a man irresistibly attracted to you – and how to raise your self esteem so you feel good no matter what he does
- How to get the commitment you want without asking for it – he’ll think it’s completely his idea!
You DON’T have to stay stuck in repetitive cycles of disappointing dating and relationship experiences. It is NOT your destiny - I promise you.
You’ve just got to make a few simple shifts and take some small actions (that get easier as you do them!), and you’ll have the relationship of your dreams before you know it.
I can’t wait to hear how it goes for you!
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Sign Up For My Love Advice Newsletter
- What to do if he’s distant and seems to have fallen out of love.
- Word-for-word love scripts to help you bring him closer than ever before.
- The secret psychology that makes him want to commit for life.
- The magic power you didn’t know you had to make him want you.