By Rori Raye
If you’re feeling insecure and anxious right now in your relationship - like at any moment it could tip over and all the juice could run out of itS - I totally understand and have some real help for you to stop being insecure in your relationship!
When I used to date, and a man who seemed so excited about me would sort of drift away, I did the only thing I knew to do…
I tried to make myself even more attractive to him.
And the more I tried - the sexier I made myself look and act, the nicer I was, and the more “reasonable” I was - it seemed to push him away even more.
At one point, I remember being shocked when a man, who all of my friends thought of as “beneath me,” who’d never had a serious relationship, and who told me himself how amazed he was that I even “liked” him, all of a sudden told me he didn’t want to be with me anymore.
Every time this sort of thing would happen, I felt so defeated and exhausted. And wondered what I was doing so wrong?
With this particular guy who was “beneath me,” it felt as though he were “opting out.” And then - within the week - he wanted to be friends, made “friend” dates with me, came over to my apartment, and tried to have sex with me!
I’d never been more confused in my life. I clearly knew nothing about men then. I had attracted him - but in only a physical way. In an emotional way, I’d repelled him.
These kinds of interactions with men kept happening, and always seemed to leave me feeling even more insecure than before.
After some time, I just felt like a shell of a woman. I barely knew who I was, what I wanted, or how I really felt about myself, or potential suitors.
It took me years and years to understand what was really going on (and to realize how lucky I was that these men showed me their true colors so early in the relationship), and though I’m so glad they never worked out, I know now what I might have done, and not done, that would have made me feel so much better, and that would have turned the tables so I was the one with the choice, and not them.
Now, I know and can share with you exactly how to create an irresistibly magnetic way of being with a man that connects with him in his heart. This is what my Free Feminine Energy newsletter is all about.
In a moment, I’m going to give you a tool that will help you get started on your way to drawing in every man you meet including the one you may already be with.
I know it sounds a bit fanciful, but it’s actually incredibly practical- because it gets you back in YOUR BODY, your feelings, emotions and in your Feminine Energy and power.
First, let’s look at what I was doing with this man that pushed him away, and what you’re likely doing that isn’t working for you:
And so I moved, thought, acted, spoke and felt fast. It was as though every moment was a piece of my storybook idea of “relationship.” I had decided that since he was “beneath me,” he was easy. I thought that I could have whatever I wanted from him, because that’s what he said, and that’s what my friends said. But, truthfully, I didn’t believe it. I felt lower than low on the totem pole of life and love - and I just felt lucky to have him around at all. I was looking to him to make everything - including me - okay.
Now, I want you to look at your man - in your imagination - and experience how you feel when you look at him. Imagine he’s watching you, and he’s Leaning Forward to you.
Do you feel longing and pining? Is it like a clenching in your heart, a sort of silence begging him to stop all his nonsense and just make everything Okay? And, can you feel your heart and your mind moving fast, trying to cut all the corners and just close the deal? Just get it all squared away, finalized - okay?
And, no matter how hard we try to keep it under control, he can feel it. Even if it’s not strong enough to actually push him away - it will keep him at a distance.
It will keep the relationship in a stuck place, where the attraction just isn’t strong enough to push him over the edge - into falling in love and feeling intensely devoted to you forever.
Creating this kind of attraction is sort of magical. It requires you getting out of that mind set where your man holds some kind of “keys” to your happiness - and putting the keys in your own hands. And it requires an attention to details.
So let’s get into the actual practice I want to share with you to empower you! Again, it might seem silly or trivial, but there is a magic in the actual doing of these simple yet powerful practices!
1. Take a cup of water and go outside to a tree, or a bush, or a flower, or a statue.
2. Now, you’re going to use your fingers for a “brush.” So dip your finger into the water, and then “paint” the tree or the flower or statue or the leaf with the water - very, very slowly and carefully - watching every single stroke you make, feeling every single stroke you make, noticing every single tiny bit of the tree bark, or the flower petal, or the leaf.
Go so slowly that you feel like you’re going in slow motion - and make sure you’re aware of every second that passes - and that all your attention is on the water going onto the tree, the flower, the piece of fruit hanging from a branch. Pretend the water is love, and you’re painting this tree trunk, branch, fruit, flower, statue, with love - literally.
3. Now, imagine your man is standing in front of you. Lean back, open ("Unzipper") your heart, arms down, palms out, focus on your pelvis, relax your shoulders, smile. Imagine him just standing there, smiling at you. Feel what you feel. Just doing this will change your vibe so that you become more of an “invitation” to your man.
4. Go to a mirror and while you’re watching your reflection in the mirror, Paint Yourself. Paint Yourself exactly the way you did the tree trunk or the flower or leaf or statue. Touch yourself gently and lovingly, and experience each stroke as if it were magical.
Pay attention to what you see and what you feel. Paint each hair, each tiny bit of your face, your shoulders, your whole naked body if you have the time. If you have only a short bit of time - really focus on the detail of one small part of you - your eyelashes, your forehead, your shoulder, your mouth…
Keep breathing, keep Leaning Back, keep stroking yourself slowly, carefully - each tiny detail. Pay attention to yourself - really get into this process of Painting Yourself With Love - moment by moment.
5. Imagine your man, or an imaginary man is standing next to you. Imagine he’s watching you. Let him watch you slowly and lovingly Paint Yourself With Love. Imagine him standing there, smiling, leaning forward, and watching you Paint Yourself With Love - and imagine he is mesmerized (because he certainly would be if you were to Love Yourself like this in his presence in real life…)
6. Carry this image and this experience around with you everywhere. Imagine yourself painting yourself wherever you are - in the market, at the drugstore, in the restaurant, and every moment you’re with your man - and, this is important…
Even if he’s not even looking at you. Even if he seems to be distracted. Even if you can feel yourself being jealous or upset or hurt by what he’s doing or not doing.
Imagine him watching you Paint Yourself With Love, and imagine everyone in the place admiring you for Painting Yourself. Imagine everyone wanting to touch you and stroke you or take out a brush and Paint You With Love. How does that feel?
I want you to practice this tool OFTEN, so you really get a tangible sense of what it feels like to Paint Yourself With Love.
It’s something you can imagine in great detail, and that you can experience emotionally.
But, how will this make you more attractive to him on a deep, emotional level? Because a man is not interested in experiencing you loving him.
He’s interested in experiencing you loving yourself when he’s loving you!
Your enjoyment of yourself, your pleasure in your own body is what deeply attracts men. This is your Feminine Power. This is the place within yourself that you embody your sense of security!
He’s completely captivated by a woman who is so trusting of him, so open to him, that she could experience her deepest pleasure when she’s with him. And this is what you want to do.
You will wrap him around your little finger, and activate your feminine power if you can love yourself in his presence. He will be “blown away,” and never, ever want to step away from you.
Even in a town where women outnumber men, as a woman who is secure in her feminine power you have absolutely no competition at all.
You are naturally magnetic and alluring to a man, without even trying. It’s about being genuine and real and going deep, deep down into your feelings and bringing them out in a way that’s magnetizing to him.
When you embody your own love, you really start loving yourself, and being open in love with an amazing, masculine man - your insecurity will vanish.
He just wants to see you, deeply in love with yourself and your own life. Not in a self-centered or narcissistic way, but in a genuine and self-honoring kind of way.
If you practice this tool regularly, you will notice such a difference with your man, or if you’re dating, you’ll notice you’ll start attracting much higher caliber men!
I have so many other tools to share with you too, that will help you stop being insecure in relationships.
In my FREE Feminine Energy Newsletter, I share countless tips, tools and practices so you can even choose which ones YOU enjoy the most!
I’ll teach you exactly what to say and do to completely change the way you show up with a man. These subtle changes will demonstrate to him that you are a woman he wants to be with… now and forever.
He’ll be mesmerized by your confidence and feminine power. And he’ll see you as the prize that you are. I’ll teach you all this and more, when you sign up for my free newsletter. Plus, you’ll learn:
I’ve been where you are - feeling so deeply insecure it seemed to repel even the worst guys - which only fed my insecurity EVEN MORE! It’s a horrible, vicious cycle.
I can help you get out of it, and feel more secure and empowered than ever before. Simply subscribe to my free Feminine Energy newsletter, and learn how to turn on your “siren power” to become magnetically irresistible and make him fall madly in love.