By Rori Raye
Have you ever focused all your attention on one man, and still felt completely unsure about where things stand? Even after a year or two? You two make regular plans together, maybe even you’ve met each other’s parents or children… he always wants you around.
But there are bright flashing signs that he’s fighting his feelings for you - and you just don’t know what to do about it!
Perhaps you just don’t feel like he’s that committed to you, or that you have a future together, but you talk yourself OUT of that feeling and just keep hoping things will turn around?
I used to be the queen of that - I’d hang in with a man - believing that just because I was still THERE, he loved me. Just because I was still THERE, he was “serious” about me.
I was the Queen of the “Imaginary Relationship.”
Here’s a letter from Helen, who’s struggling with the reality of her long relationship with a man she loves…
Q. “Dear Rori,
We have been back together for about a year now. He lost his wife three years ago to cancer.
Whenever I ask relationship questions - like 'I wish you would introduce me to your friends because when I am in front of them I feel uncomfortable because I don’t know if they are into you or not, or who did you go out of town with and who are they to you,' this is his answer to me…
…'We are not in a relationship, when you ask me these questions you make me want to withdraw and what does it matter to you who these people are or if I introduce you to them? I am not anyone’s boyfriend or committed to anyone so don’t ask me relationship questions. When I find someone I will let you know, and you know how these questions aggravate me, and if you want us to get along, don’t ask me these type of questions.'
He also has pictures of different women in the house and he says they are just friends (he’s in the picture with them.) I don’t know how to answer this because I love him so much. We sleep together. I see him at least two to three times a week, I spend the nights at his house and his mother and children know about me. His daughters are practically like my children and I love them, too.
Lately he has been talking to me more - sharing what he’s doing, and I commend him for that and I use a lot of my feelings with him that I learned from your book. I also try to act like I trust him and try not to ask too many questions, but at least once every two or three weeks, I ask something and all hell breaks loose and the above answer is what I always get.
I ask these questions because I get emotional and hurt and afraid he’s taking someone out of town or seeing someone else, and yet I know there’s nothing I can do. He has 3 pictures of himself with three different women and in one of them he is holding the lady like they are in love and I have to see these pictures every time I’m there. And he just says they’re friends but there are no pictures of me.
He seems to have many women friends. So I wonder how many of us is he sleeping with. I am not dating anyone else or haven’t since my divorce five years ago - he has been the only other man. I spend a lot of time with his kids - we’re like mother and daughters. Please help, yours sincerely, ~Helen.”
Here’s my answer:
A. Dear Helen,
He’s not actually fighting any feelings he’s got for you - he knows exactly how he feels, and you just haven’t been wanting to hear him, honestly.
Please do this for me:
You cannot bring him close to you by WANTING him more. You can not excite him, attract him, or make him WANT YOU more by pressing him.
Even THINKING about him makes your “vibe” seem needy, clingy, and desperate to him. This is simply not attractive to him - and it makes your self-esteem take a nose-dive.
This is where you’ve gotta embody your own glorious feminine energy again! In all likelihood, you’ve been so focused on him, what he’s feeling or thinking… and ignoring how YOU FEEL.
What makes YOU happy, come alive, excited… all that?
When you are embracing your feminine energy fully, this is what will magnetically draw him - or another amazing man who’s READY - close to you.
Helen: (and you, too, if you’re in a similar situation…) Try the step-by-step Tools above. If you keep going the way you’re approaching this situationship (that’s really what it is!), it will just damage you, and will not help you get the man you want.
Whenever you notice yourself wondering why he seems to be fighting his feelings for you - STOP.
You’ve caught yourself, leaving your own beautiful feminine energy and power again. Come back to yourself, follow these steps above and let go of wondering how he feels.
How YOU feel is what MATTERS… and when you embody this, the men will be fawning all over you, and you’ll have the pick of the litter!
I’ve got so many more tips, ‘secrets’ and practices on how to focus on YOU instead of him in my FREE Feminine Energy Newsletter.
I’ll show you have to STOP putting all your energy on HIM (and if he likes you, or why he’s withdrawing, or why he won’t commit, or if he’s fighting his feelings for you), and instead your natural “siren power” that makes you magnetically irresistible to all men.
You’ll get your power back, and so much more.
You’ll also learn:
I KNOW that the steps above will make a HUGE difference for you… you’ll see.
Be sure to let me know how it works for you!